I say to myself too frequently, “I just don’t understand why ____.” Invariably the statement refers to a puzzling action of someone with whom I have frequent contact. Perhaps you do the same with a spouse, family member, or co-worker. Before formulating pre-judgments like “They’re just lazy,” or “They don’t care,” try attentive listening. Arrange a time for talking and truly listening. Although you could start with a direct question about the action, it may be better to start with something that doesn’t sound accusatory, for example, “You seem to be under time pressures.” We may discover the reason(s) behind the actions, which can be far from the ones we formulated in our pre-judgments. Meanwhile, avoid gossip. After all, we really don’t know the reality. Any effort needs its origin in love and a desire for unity.